When the World Keeps Turning: Living With the Quiet Grief of Miscarriage
There’s a strange moment after a miscarriage when everything around you just... keeps turning.
You may have gone through something that changed everything. Something that shook you deeply. And yet, the world carries on. People are chatting in coffee shops, pushing prams, posting pregnancy updates. It can feel disorientating, like slipping into a parallel universe where everything looks the same, but nothing is quite the same.
One of the hardest parts of miscarriage can be the quietness. The way it often happens silently. The way life seems to move on, even while you’re still trying to make sense of what’s happened. It may feel confusing, especially if others don’t seem to understand, but whatever you're feeling is valid.
Miscarriage is a real loss. It doesn’t matter when it happened, whether it was at 6 weeks or 16, whether it was your first pregnancy or your fourth. Whether you saw a heartbeat or not, it still mattered. You might have imagined a future. Begun to make space in your life, your heart, your mind. That space doesn’t just vanish because the loss was early or ‘common’. You don’t need to minimise your experience to make others more comfortable.
“The fact that it happened quietly doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
All your feelings are allowed
Grief after miscarriage isn’t a straight line. Some days might feel heavy, others might feel numb. You might notice guilt, confusion, anger. Or perhaps relief, or nothing at all. There’s no one way to respond and no right timeline to follow. If what you’re feeling doesn’t seem to match what others expect, that doesn’t make it any less real.
There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve a pregnancy. Only your way.
You don’t have to carry it alone
Sometimes, therapy is the first place someone says, “I lost a baby.” Or, “I thought I was fine, but I’m not.” Or, “I’ve never told anyone, but I still think about them.”
Therapy doesn’t take the pain away, but it can offer a place where you don’t have to hold it all by yourself. A space for your grief to be seen and heard. A chance to say out loud what may have gone unsaid elsewhere. To think of what was lost and begin to reconnect with yourself. Whatever your experience, it matters.
With warmth,
Sian 🙏🏼
Inner Space Counselling